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The days, weeks and months after my 'Mo left this world for Rainbow Bridge cradled in my arms, my tears
falling onto his golden hair were the most difficult days I have ever endured. Waking each morning, only to
realize that our time here together was over, brought new tears.
Even those closest to me were unable to console me......the only thing that could have helped
me was to have my 'Mo back with me......or for me to have been able to go with him........
I Wanted To Go...
Each time I left, you wanted to go,
I'd pick up my keys and you would know.
Your whole body shook, your eyes had that gleam,
"A ride in the truck, oh please take me!"
So many times that you couldn't go,
I'd try to explain, so you would know.
"Not today baby, you have to stay.
I'm going to work, there's no place to play."
"Another day Gizmo, no dogs in the store",
All of these reasons and so many more....
And when I came home, there'd you be,
Waiting in the window and watching for me.
Today I told you, "Let's go for a ride",
As ever before you came to my side.
We got in the truck, I buckled your belt,
No gleam in your eyes, you sensed what I felt.
We arrived at the office and went inside,
My mind was racing, "This was our last ride.
The Bridge is waiting, please find your way there,
The others will help you and treat you with care."
I held you close to calm your fears....
My whole boy shook, my eyes filled with tears.
You took your last breath and I want you to know....
This time you left me......and I wanted to go...........
''Mo's Mom Carol
July 18, 2000
Have You Forgotten Him?
Some months ago I lost my friend
a little dog so sweet.
Remember how he stayed by me
always at my feet?
Remember his big brown loving eyes
and his golden silky hair?
Remember how he’d sit by me
in the rocking chair?
Remember how he’d race outside
to chase the birds away?
And how he’d bring his stockin’ out
asking you to play?
At first friends called
and some stopped by.
They’d sit with me and talk of him…
together we would cry.
The calls now come less frequently,
the visits now are rare,
Perhaps they think I’m "over it"
and no longer need their care.
Sometimes I want to make a call
or go and visit them,
Ask why they no longer speak his name…
"Have you forgotten him?"
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
November 1, 2000
Dear ‘Mo……
I saw a little Lhasa today,
He looked just exactly like you!
From his little black nose to the tips of his toes,
And his hair was golden, too!
He walked with a little spring in his step
And his tail curled over his back.
I looked at his beautiful silky ears,
Just like yours, they were tipped in black!
Oh ‘Mo, I couldn’t believe my eyes!
Could this possibly be true?
A little golden Lhasa pup
Who was just exactly like you?
I looked in his eyes, but I didn’t see me…
And suddenly I knew.
This little golden Lhasa pup
Was not just exactly like you…..
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
November 16, 2000
The First Time
I remember the "firsts" that he and I shared,
The first time I held him when he was so scared.
The first bath in the tub, the first walk in the park,
His first night at home, his first squeaky bark.
For fourteen years he stayed by my side,
But some three months ago, we took our last ride.
My pal’s at the Bridge, oh I miss him so!
A most difficult thing…this "letting them go".
A year of new firsts now lies ahead,
The first night in years without him on my bed.
The first fall in so long that leaves stay outside,
No little dog here to bring them inside.
The first Christmas without him in such a long while,
Next May on his birthday, oh please, let me smile.
And when the first year has passed come July,
I know I’ll remember….and I know I’ll still cry.
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
October 25, 2000
A Year of Tears…
A year since you left me, no that can’t be
true…
I couldn’t go on for a year...without you.
It was just yesterday….when we went out to
play...
I know…I remember…just yesterday.
A year since you left me….no, that can’t
be right,
Only moments have passed since I held you so tight.
No, a lifetime has passed, since I held you to
me…
Only a year since you left me…no wait, that
can’t be.
A year since you left me…no, wait I recall…..
A golden little dog asleep in the hall…
Just days ago, I saw you there…..
And last night we sat in our favorite chair.
I remember it all…every hug, every kiss……
I remember, my ‘Mo…..and it’s
you that I miss.
A year since you left me…no, that can’t
be so…
I remember so clearly ….when I let you go.
I remember the moment when we had to part…
I remember the sound of the scream of my heart.
I’ve counted days, weeks and months with
sad tears….
How can it be…I’m now counting by years.
A year since you left me…so many tears…..
One for each second of our 14 years.
A year since you left me…..yes, I guess it
must be…
Be happy at the Bridge….and please, wait
for me.
^Kaz’s Golden Gizmo^
5/13/86 – 7/18/00
And a Little Dog Waits……
A little dog waits patiently,
‘Neath the shade of a big leafy tree.
He watches the others romp and play,
But he’s found his spot, and there he’ll stay.
A woman waits with a broken heart,
Remembering it all right from the start.
A funny little pup with a squeaky bark,
A first night at home, a first walk in the park.
The little dog knows there’ll come a day
When the woman returns and comes to play.
He remembers her tears, the sound of her heart
As it shattered the day death tore them apart.
The woman waits with her silent tears,
Her sorrow, her anger, her quiet fears.
Who’s caressing this little dog’s golden head…..
Who lets him sleep on the foot of their bed?
Ever so patiently the little dog lies….
Ignoring the bunnies and butterflies.
She said she’d come and that makes it true,
He remembers so clearly that she wanted to go, too.
He understood that she had to stay,
On that hot July day that he went away.
A little dog lies in the shade of a tree,
And ever so patiently….he waits just for me……
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
August 6, 2001
Forever Fourteen………
One more birthday at Rainbow Bridge…..
today you turn Sweet Sixteen.
But in my heart, my dear sweet ‘Mo,
You will always be…..forever fourteen.
I have no presents to wrap today,
No scraps of paper litter the floor.
For fourteen years we shared this day,
Oh, how I long for just one more……
So, as you remember, and run and play
In the meadows of grass, so green…..
Know that I’m remembering too,
My forever baby…….forever fourteen.
^Kaz’s Golden Gizmo^
May 13, 1986 – July 18, 2000
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
May 13, 2002
I Kept Some Things…
A little red coat in its usual place,
A soft blue cloth to wipe your sweet face.
A plush doggie bed on the living room floor,
Muddy little pawprints still mark the side door.
Brushes in the cabinet all in a row,
A blue one for me and a red one for ‘Mo.
Your harness and leash still hang on the hook,
And on the end table your Memory Book.
Medicine on the shelf in the door of the ‘fridge,
No need for this now, good health at the Bridge!
Toys in the basket in the office nook,
(Those who come here cast a sideways look.)
Your dishes in the curio, all washed and clean,
I know others wonder, "What does this mean?"
I have all your things but no longer have you……
You don’t need them now……but I certainly do.
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
October 29, 2000
I Never Knew
I never knew how loud silence could be,
It’s something I’ve learned since you left
me.
No click of your nails on the kitchen floor,
No sound of your paws thumping on the side door.
No bark of warning as strangers pass by,
No settling into bed to the sound of your sigh.
And during the night, I wake no more
To the comforting sound of your gentle snore.
Instead I wake to the sound of my tears
As I dream of the sounds from our happy years.
Not only do I miss the touch of you,
I miss the sounds that left with you, too.
I never knew how loud silence could be,
Just one more lesson you taught to me.
So many things I learned from you,
Like the sound of silence…I’ve learned that,
too.
‘Mo’s Mom Carol
November 12, 2000
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